Headlines - 5/28/09

1. US Secretary of Energy, Steven Chu, says we should paint roofs and cars white to reflect light/heat back into space. Pure genious there. Climate crisis solved. That was freaking easy!
2. SCOTUS nominee Sonia Sotomayor believes states have the ability to restrict your 2nd Amendment protection to keep and bear arms, despite the 14th Amendment of the Constitution, which specifically prohibits states from depriving its citizens of our federally protected rights. Well, I guess that's just how a female latino judge would legislate it from her coutroom, anyway. Silly white guys and their funny rules - Sonia don't care!
3. Kim Jon Il flings poo on Obama's face by firing a ballistic missile into the Pacific, then by exploding a nuke a month later. Obama just smiles, and says "Nice shot!", while picking poo from his stupid grin. Iran kind of did the same thing concerning their nuke program. So did the Europeans who denied Barry help in Afghanistan and declined to join his "defecit spending spree to prosperity". Well, at least he took out those teenage pirates! To hell with those other guys... we got the pirates...woo! We rule! Screw you, France!
4. Recent poll says 57% of Americans believe we're headed in the wrong direction. 37% say we're headed in the right direction. 6% could give a rat's ass.
5. Barry finally realizes we're out of money while answering a question on C-Span, like its the first time someone told him about the current budget defecit and the 11 trillion dollar debt. Then he says its because we've been spending money on the wrong stuff. Huh. Wrong stuff. You think 10 years from now and $20 trillion more borrowed from China will maybe buy some of the right stuff? I'm thinking he needs to buy a complete neurological exam, because he's not thinking right.
6. Californians reject higher taxes to pay for their socialist lifestyles. Maybe they aren't socialists. Nah, they are - just broke ones! We'll all be in the same boat within 4 years, so take notes.
7. Also in California, courts uphold ban on gay marriage enacted by the last election referendum. I suppose Janet Napolitano will be adding people with rainbow bumper stickers and cross gender behavior traits to the list of potential domestic terror threats. Oh, wait, did I say terror, I meant "man made disaster" threats. That better.

Headlines - 5/23/09

1. Harry Knox, Obama advisor, says administration should move beyond America's "heteronormative" view of fatherhood. The circus sideshow has officially hit the main tent.
   
2. Obama speaks at Notre Dame commencement to the joy of heretical Catholics and the distress of the remainder.
   
3. California is just about in receivership, taxpayers are in revolt. Feds are going to back their debt, but no one will even back the Fed's debt anymore, so I guess they're backing it with mystery money from the land of Oz. Progressivism reaps what it sows.
   
4. Cap & Trade... 85% of the carbon credits that were to be auctioned are going to be given away, so taxpayers won't see much benefit from the energy taxation plan. Even the 15% to be auctioned is earmarked for liberal policies that have already tanked. Taxpayers will bask in the glory of higher utilities and less groceries.
   
5. Unemployment is higher in "blue" states as opposed to "red" states. I wonder, why?
   
6. Both the Jews and the Palestinians have aligned against Obama's "Peace Plan". He has made overt gesticulations toward anything Muslim, and has covertly stepped away from supporting the lone stable democratic state in the middle east. I wonder, why?
   
7. Big name Republicans like Romney and McCain have formed the National Council for a New America, which seeks input from "all Americans" to determine a Republican agenda. Translation: since the Democrats have become Marxists, the Republicans will become Democrats. Stick to conservative principles and votes will come back, turning a new shade of pink is political suicide.
   
8. The Bilderbergs met in Greece to further their secret agenda of world domination. If you're unaware of who these people are, just "Google" and be amazed.
   
9. Obama announces pollution restrictions for the auto industry. Just another way to create new and expensive tax economies based on the carbon lie, while at the same restricting your choices and freedoms. Every 100 lbs taken off a vehicle's gross weight kills over 700 people per year. This will easily surpass the number killed in the Iraq war, and is the only way for car manufacturers to make the mpg requirements. More "chains we can believe in".
   
10. Scientists find a new type of monkey skeleton, hailed as the "missing link", nailing the coffin closed on God. So, two monkeys go out on a date and nine months later give birth to a litter of humans and our journey to enlightenment began. You ever hear of a species giving birth to a new species? Neither did I. Don't toss your Bible into the trash yet.
    
11. Liberals hold a "prayer breakfast" to pray for passage of "Free Choice Act", which aims to eliminate secret ballots from workplaces voting on unionization. Now we actively pray for communism. Is there a paradox there?
    
12. Obama advisor Harold Koh thinks we should introduce international law into our law, and use it to interpret our Constitution. I think Harold Koh should move to France and take his "America Last" ideology with him.